


Every Stop Is Neatly Planned

by jono74656



Series: Crossing Kurt [16]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Glee
Genre: Gen, Teleportation Mishaps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 13:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jono74656/pseuds/jono74656
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt didn't expect to run into a one-eyed man with an axe on his way home.</p><p>Short Glee/Buffy Crossover</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Stop Is Neatly Planned

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Again with the crossover ideas...
> 
> Title from 'Homeward Bound' by Simon and Garfunkel
> 
> Disclaimer: If you recognise it, I don't own it.

Every Stop Is Neatly Planned

 

Kurt stopped dead and stared at the figure in front of him, wondering if he could get to his car before he was noticed.

There was a good chance, given that the figure was currently shouting at the sky, one hand planted on his hip while the other waved in mid air irritably. The hand waving would have been fine except that he had an axe in his hand, and was holding it with the expertise of either a lumberjack or a serial killer.

Given the gore dripping from the blade of the axe, he was leaning towards serial killer.

The ichor in question was bright green. He wasn't sure where that fell on the serial killer or lumberjack scale, but it certainly wasn't encouraging.

With one last bellow of “WILLOW!” the man turned and visibly startled when he saw Kurt, then casually moved the hand holding the axe behind his back, all but whistling nonchalantly in the apparent hope that Kurt hadn't seen the dripping ichor. 

Then, axe still held out of sight, he strolled straight towards Kurt, free hand outstretched and a warm smiled spreading across his features. The smile somewhat softened the effect of the black patch which covered one eye. 

Combined with the flannel shirt and the axe, the patch gave him the look of a seriously unlucky lumberjack.

Then one large calloused hand was shaking his enthusiastically, and the man was talking a mile a minute, words spilling over themselves in a babble that put even Rachel Berry at her most excitable to shame.

“Hey there! I don't suppose you could tell me where I am? Maybe how I can get back to Cleveland? That's Cleveland in Ohio. USA? You speak English? God you don't understand a word I'm saying do you?!”

Kurt sighed and arched an eyebrow, and he stuttered to a stop, apparently unnerved by the gesture.

“You're in Lima, Ohio. You can catch a bus to Cleveland from the station, although I don't believe they'll let you on with your cutlery.”

The man shuffled his feet like a naughty toddler, but nevertheless attempted a denial.

“Cutlery? I don't know what you mean.”

Kurt's eyebrow climbed further up, and the man visibly cringed back, obviously recognising it for the danger sign it was.

“I was referring to the rather large double-headed battleaxe you are currently unsuccessfully trying to hide behind your back. It's rather noticeable, especially dripping green ooze like it is.”

The man grimaced, pulling the axe out with obvious reluctance.

“Would you believe I work in special effects for the movie business?”

“In Lima? No self-respecting studio, director or producer would think this was the right place to film.”

He pinned the man with an interrogatory stare, and deliberately arched his eyebrow again just to see him wince.

“So. Given that there's only one bus a day to Lima, and if you drove yourself you'd both know where you were and know how to get back to Cleveland, how did you get here?”

“Took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.”

The man assayed a winning grin. 

Kurt was not won over.

“If you don't want my help to get you back on your way, by all means keep lying to me.”

The man opened his mouth as though to refute Kurt's accusation, but then sighed, and seemed to sag in on himself.

“You're not gonna believe me.”

“Try me.”

“One of my overprotective friends used a teleportation spell to get me away from the demons we were fighting.”

Kurt sighed softly.

“Follow me.”

He set off in the direction of the bus station, and knew, without looking, that the man was following him.

“You believe me?”

“Not particularly, but on the off chance you are telling the truth, it would seem in my best interests to get you far away from me.”

The man nodded agreeably at this, then fell silent as they approached the station. Wordlessly, Kurt pointed him in the direction of the bored man at the ticket counter, then turned to leave. 

“Hey, wait a minute!”

He span on his heels to find the man closer than he was entirely comfortable with, and he took a long step back as one large hand reached out, waving a small piece of paper at him.

He reached out and delicately took it, and the man grinned broadly at him before jogging towards the ticket counter.

Kurt waited until he was home safe, and had locked the door and thrown the deadbolt, just in case, before he looked at the paper.

It turned out to be a business card.

 

Xander Harris  
International Council of Watchers and Slayers  
Head Watcher  
Cleveland Office

**Author's Note:**

> AN: For such a simple bunny, this took a hell of a lot of writing.
> 
> Hope ya'll enjoy it!


End file.
